


All aboard the Fuckboat

by Blankdice



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Magnus "Monster Dong" Burnsides, Main ship: Lucretia/Lup, Mention of Davenport/Merle, Starblaster more like starfucker, Where everyone sleeps with everyone, explicit discussion of sex, lupcretia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 06:33:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blankdice/pseuds/Blankdice
Summary: Five times the crew fucked around, and one time it didn't happen. Mainly Lucretia/Lup with a load of side pairings. No explicit smut but a lot of them dirty words.In the seven decades she’d been traveling with these people, her friends, her family, she couldn’t help but notice they all seemed to be fucking around, except for her. She’d walked in on, heard or saw the aftermath of several combinations of Taako, Magnus, Barry and Lup. Merle and Davenport were a question mark, but maybe they were just more discreet about the whole thing. Then, of course, there were the people they ran into on their strange travels, many of whom had seemed down for all manner of things. But not with Lucretia.





	All aboard the Fuckboat

> **0\. Cycle 71**

Lucretia decided to proposition Taako in cycle 71. It was probably a bad idea, no, it was definitely a bad idea but quite honestly, Lucretia was lonely and starved for a little interpersonal contact.

In the seven decades she’d been traveling with these people, her friends, her family, she couldn’t help but notice they all seemed to be fucking around, except for her. She’d walked in on, heard or saw the aftermath of several combinations of Taako, Magnus, Barry and Lup. Merle and Davenport were a question mark, but maybe they were just more discreet about the whole thing. Then, of course, there were the people they ran into on their strange travels, many of whom had seemed down for all manner of things. But not with Lucretia.

To be fair, she wasn’t the most inviting, or the most perceptive. There was that time at the conservatory when she hadn’t noticed a young man hitting on her until his sister berated her for breaking his heart.

After seventy years, Lucretia was a little tired, a little lonely, and could use some stress relief and physical intimacy. 

She’d considered Magnus at first. He was her age (or as close as they could reckon, with the constant resets), he was handsome enough, he was friendly and she was a hundred percent sure he’d do his best to make her comfortable.

Something about him just didn’t appeal to her, though. She couldn’t put her finger on it, there was nothing concrete she could point out, but he just didn’t get her going. 

The idea of sleeping with Barry was even worse. He was her friend and research partner, and she couldn’t bring herself to think of him in that way. It just felt wrong, like shelving a treatise on agriculture with the fiction.

She wasn’t even going to consider Davenport or Merle. Theoretically, she could add seventy years to her age and the difference was no longer so shocking, but that was theory and in practice it felt no different than it would’ve seventy cycles ago.

That left Taako and actually, Lucretia found she could work with that. There was something about Taako, his effeminate elven tackiness, that appealed to her. She couldn’t see herself in a relationship with him, but a platonic fling every now and then? Sure. 

She picked a summer evening to do it, although summer was a relative concept here. They had landed on the equator and every day so far had either been desperately warm, or desperately warm with torrential rain.

The rest of the crew was partying it up for the night at the local god-queen’s banquet, and she and Taako were left with the Starblaster. Her because she’d objected to going from the very start, and Taako because Lup had demanded to go and Davenport had decreed both twins would’ve been rude to their poor host.

“Hey Taako,” Lucretia said. She was leaning on the railing, looking at the archipelago in the twilight, all lit up like the night sky. She could track every boat by its lantern, red and green and blue, reflecting in the water. 

“What’s up, homie?” said Taako. 

She looked over her shoulder. He had set up a reclining chair and a parasol earlier, and was picking through the remnants of his cocktail, hunting for the bits of pineapple. “Would you kiss me, if I asked?”

She didn’t know what she expected, but it wasn’t Taako falling out of his chair, choking on pineapple and laughter.

“Okay,” she said, crisply, “I’ll take it that’s a no.”

“Fuck me,” Taako said, wiping the tears from his eyes. He pulled himself up with some effort, flounced over to the railing and draped himself over it like a wet towel, still laughing. “Oh shit, no, no, it’s not personal,” he said. 

Lucretia made a “mmn” sound, her back straight as a ruler. 

“Why would you even ask me, my dude?” Taako said. He sniffed, and wiped his eyes one last time.

“I don’t know,” said Lucretia, “I really don’t know. I suppose I figured you might be up for it, considering you’ve been sleeping with everyone else.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” said Taako, “no. Not everyone, just the dudes. I’m like, super gay. Extremely gay, Lucy. I don’t know if I can accurately describe how gay I am.”

“Huh,” said Lucretia. “I suppose that softens the blow.”

“Why me, though?” said Taako. “I mean, obviously I’m amazing, but I’m also just extremely gay. Am I not making this clear enough? Do I need to update my personal brand?”

Lucretia shrugged, sagged a little lower over the railing of the Starblaster. “No, your personal brand is good. I like it, even if it’s very melodramatic.”

Taako raised a hand to his chest. “How dare you.”

“You’re good-looking, a little softer than the other two.” She paused. “I’m not counting Merle and Davenport, obviously.”

“Obviously,” said Taako. “I doubt they’d know a come-on if it gave them a lapdance.”

Lucretia gave him a stern look, said: “Gross.”

“Well, the answer is still no, homie.” Taako grinned. “But if you like the elven charm, and if you like them a little softer, you can always try Lup.”

“Ha ha,” Lucretia said, “I suppose.” Honestly, she hadn’t considered it. Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

“They should all be back soon,” Taako said. “God, I hope they bring leftovers, I’m starving for some decent royal cooking. It’s what I deserve.”

Lucretia risked another glance over at Taako and decided it was well enough that he’d declined. He’d seemed like the most appealing and it was true that there was something to him, but again; no spark. She wouldn’t kick him out for a little fun, but that was the extent of it. Plus, she had to admit, he really was very gay.

Maybe that was part of what had drawn her to him, as an option. Maybe she’d known he’d turn her down, and that had made asking easier. 

Maybe it was the way his face looked in the low light, always faintly androgynous but resembling his sister more than ever, now.

Maybe it was the way how, when she squinted, she could almost retrace the lines of his body, turn it into something a little more…

Like Lup.

* * *

> **1\. Cycle 17**

Cycle seventeen found them on a planet wreathed in a tropical fog, which wouldn’t have been so bad if not for the things that moved in the fog. Day and night, the air was thick enough to cut with a knife and full of shapes that moved with a weird rustle. Magnus had run after one, but found nothing but overgrown forest and trees, holding perfectly still. 

Three months in, nothing had actually happened yet but everyone was on edge. Some days they could see further, and some days they could almost see where they were going. The nights were especially bad. The fog crept up on the Starblaster, and the shapes seemed closer.

They had unanimously decided this one wasn’t worth it. They’d also started keeping watch.

Barry hated the shapes. They reminded him of deep ocean fish, writhing around at weird angles, never close enough to see clearly. It didn’t help that the fog steamed up his glasses something awful, and he was constantly taking them off and wiping them on his robe.

He really hated the moments when he was drying his glasses, because he could see even less.

So, of course, it was at exactly one such moment that Taako grabbed his ass.

They had just left the deck at Magnus and Lucretia’s mercy, retreating back into the Starblaster after a boring yet nerve-wracking guard shift and Barry figured he could finally wipe his glasses and have them actually stay clean. He nearly dropped them, whirled around and there Taako was, one eyebrow raised.

“I mean,” he said, “not that I’m offended but you could just say you’re not interested. Abject shock is a little, you know, passé.”

“What?” said Barry. “I thought you were one of those fog things.”

“Gee,” Taako drawled, “thanks.”

Barry shook his head. “We’re all on edge, and let’s not let that distract us from that fact that, uh, did you just cop a feel?”

“Do you really have to ask?”

“Uhm.” Barry raised his hands, helplessly.

Taako sighed. “Okay, listen. There’s only so many of us on this ship, right? We can’t be picky, so we might as well try ‘adventurous’ on for size.”

“That’s,” Barry started. “That’s a little insulting, actually. You’re only coming on to me because there are no other choices?”

“Not just me, Barold. Do you want to get a little adventurous?” Taako grinned. “Also, I’m not used to this, my dude, usually I’m the one being hit on. Cut me some slack.”

For a moment Barry considered saying no. He had no doubt that Taako would gracefully bow out and there would be no awkwardness between them but the thing was, Barry was tempted. Barry was in fact more than tempted. He wasn’t the absolute slut Taako could be (yes, he had noticed), but he had needs. He’d never slept with another man before, but not for lack of wanting.

So he said: “You know what, actually, yeah. Let’s get adventurous.”

He would have said more, but Taako was fast. Barry figured it was polite not to try and talk through someone kissing you. It was a good kiss, sharp and well-practised, and Barry quickly found that it wasn’t nearly as weird as he’d been afraid it would be to kiss his friend and coworker in the hallway of their shared home slash transport. Well. Not unless he thought about it too much. Fortunately, Taako didn’t give him a lot of room to think.

When he caught his breath again, he said: “Taako, I’ve never done this before.”

“It’s super easy,” Taako said, already picking at buttons. That was a terrible idea, so Barry stumbled backwards until Taako grabbed him by the wrist and lead the two of them into his tiny room. They stood for a moment, both waiting, Taako arched sensually against Barry and Barry, awkward and unsure where to put his hands.

“No, I mean,” he said, “I’ve never done this, I don’t, uh, I don’t want to do it wrong.”

Taako snorted. “Literally, it’s really easy. Insert tab A into slot B, and I’m sure we’ll figure it out from there.”

“Don’t we have to, you know, prepare?” Barry gestured with two fingers.

“Give me two minutes and I can get myself ready,” said Taako. His shirt was already off and on the floor.

“I meant me,” said Barry.

Taako paused, halfway through pulling Barry’s shirt off. He stood frozen, pensive, as Barry pulled the fabric out of his face. “A condom, you mean? I got those, no worries.” 

“It’s just, I don’t know how to do this, okay? I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“So long as you fuck me up,” Taako said with a grin.

“So maybe it’s best if you lead, as it were,” Barry finished.

“Wait,” said Taako, “you want me to top?”

“Yes?” said Barry. “It’s just, I work better from an example, so if you could show me how to do it--”

“Oh fuck me,” Taako said. “And I’m all horny now, too.”

“Do you not want to?” Barry said. “If you don’t want to--”

“No, fuck you, Barold.” Taako pushed him backwards against a wall, and it would’ve been off-putting if his hands weren’t on his jeans now. “We’re going to fuck, and I don’t have the patience for you to fumble around. But for the record, I’m not a top and I resent you making me do all the work, got it?” 

“G-got it,” Barry managed, and held on for dear life.

* * *

> **1\. Cycle 19**

“Magnus,” Taako said. He tried his utter best to infuse his voice with the gravitas a situation this important required, but since he had to shout to make himself heard over the noise of the storm, the effect got a little bit lost. “A moment of your time.”

He pulled at Magnus’ sleeve and the man followed him, stumbling over his own feet. An extra door between them and the storm helped, so Taako put on his most serious face and said: “Raw me now, Magnus.”

“I, what?” Magnus went.

“Do it now,” said Taako. He was already dropping his trousers. After all, they didn’t have a lot of time.

“Do,” Magnus started, “what?”

Taako straightened up, snapped his fingers in Magnus’ face. “Chop chop, Maggie, we’re low on time here and I want you to do me.”

“About that, do we have to do this now? While the Hunger is attacking.”

“Yes.” Taako crossed his arms. “Listen, I’ve given you a handjob before and even if I hadn’t, we’ve all seen each other naked by now. It’s no secret you have a monstro dong. Long story short, I want you to fuck me but I’m a delicate fucking flower, okay? So do it now and in a few hours my body resets and I’m gucci.” He paused. “Also means no afterglow, but I’d say it’s worth it for being able to sit after you split me in half with that humongous dongus.”

Magnus took a deep breath, seemed to have second thoughts. “You want to have sex with me?”

“Don’t take it personally, my dude. There’s a limited amount of ass on this ship and, well.” He reached out, unbuttoned the second button on Magnus’ shirt, on account of the top one already being unbuttoned. “You’re a good looking dude, and I’ve been horny all year, and I would like to have sex with you within the next, say, half hour because this world is being eaten alive as we speak. What do you say? Live a little.”

Taako unbuttoned another button. Then, for good measure, another one because Magnus’ shirt only had a total of four buttons and now it was hanging open, allowing Taako to drag a hand down his chest, really get in on that treasure trail.

He was sure, for a moment, that Magnus was going to refuse. The man raised a hand, covered Taako’s, pulled his fingers away from his waistband and, listen, Taako might be selfish but he wasn’t a total jerk. He could take the rejection, and would think nothing less of Magnus, although it would be a damn shame.

Then Magnus smiled and squeezed Taako’s hand.

“Just a little bit of fun?” he said. “While the world is kind of ending.”

“Nothing little about it but yeah, basically.”

“What the hell,” said Magnus. “Why not.”

Taako threw his arms around Magnus’ neck. “Do me, Mango. Fast and dirty.”

“That’s not nearly as sexy as you think it is.”

“Shh,” Taako went. 

The reset hit a little less than two hours later, and to Taako’s delight, the lack of afterglow was made up entirely by sheer smugness.

* * *

> **3\. Cycle 20**

“Hey Magnus,” Lup said. She was lounging in the open bathroom door, which Magnus had left unlocked because, wow, he had almost as little shame as her brother. 

“Hey, Lup!” Magnus went. He was trimming his sideburns, wearing nothing but a towel.

Lup, because she was nice like that, waited until he was rinsing the blade to say: “So my brother tells me you have a monster dong.”

Magnus dropped the razor with a clatter. He grabbed for it in the sink but it evaded his grasp, which was probably a good thing. It took him a moment to realise it would be easier if he drained the sink first, then another moment as he waited for the sink to empty. Lup couldn’t help but notice he was studiously avoiding looking at her the whole time.

When he still hadn’t responded after successfully retrieving the razor, Lup added: “Just like, unbelievably huge.”

“Why the sudden interest?” Magnus said, a little strained.

“As I said, my brother has a big mouth.” Lup grinned. “I mean, he must do, considering what he’s been up to with you. And he’s told me you are absolutely hung.”

Magnus made a noise somewhere between a giggle and a sigh. “I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered that Taako’s been telling people.”

“Not people,” said Lup, “just me. We share shit, you know? Anyway, can I see it?”

“You wanna see it?” Magnus said, and now he was looking at her, grinning. She grinned back, because this whole situation was, frankly, hilarious.

“Show me the goods, Maggie,” she said. 

“You sound so much like Taako sometimes,” he said.

She snorted, took a step into the bathroom and closed the door. “Rude. Make it up to me by showing me your family jewels, Mags. How many carats are we speaking?”

Magnus laughed. “You know, you can be pushy.”

“Is that why you have a hard-on?” she asked. “Or is it because I apparently sound so much like my brother?”

Magnus’ smile grew to a smirk. “I don’t have a hard-on,” he said, “yet.”

“Oh,” she said, and raised her eyebrows. Magnus had dropped the towel, and that was honestly more than enough explanation. She let out a low whistle. “You didn’t answer my question,” she said.

“I like a strong woman,” he said, and shrugged.

“Nice save,” Lup said, and locked the door.

* * *

> **4\. Cycle 64**

Some cycles were easy. Things fell in place with very little effort; they found the light, people believed them, they didn’t even need to prepare as much because all the defenses were already in place.

Those cycles, according to Magnus, were boring as hell. It was nice, he guessed, not to have to run around for a while, but a whole year of doing nothing? Bo-ring. He guessed that was how he ended up sleeping with Barry.

After, he sidled over, put his face into Barry’s personal space and said. “So, how was it?”

“What, you uh, want a rating?” Barry said, grinning.

“Sure,” said Magnus. “How many stars?”

“Man, I don’t have a lot of data to compare it with.” Barry frowned up at the ceiling. “One point five Taakos?”

Magnus laughed, just straight up guffawed into Barry’s face. “I’m better than Taako? He’s gonna hate that!”

“Different, mostly. I don’t know how much of that is down to different logistics between topping and bottoming.” Barry shrugged. “More data needed, I guess.”

For a moment, Magnus didn’t realise what Barry was implying. He wasn’t usually so slow on the uptake (or at least he wouldn’t admit it) but he’d just had a nice fuck and not all his faculties had returned yet. 

He gasped, raised himself on his elbows so he could clap his hands to his face. “Taako topped you?”

“Yeah?” Barry went, squinting at him with either alarm or annoyance that his glasses were on the other side of the room.

“But Taako’s a total pillow princess!” said Magnus.

“He seemed kind of annoyed at it,” said Barry, “so I guess that makes sense.”

“No, you don’t get it,” said Magnus, and he couldn’t help but raise his voice. This was possibly the funniest thing he’d heard in decades. “Taako topped you!” 

“Yes, I did say that,” said Barry and it was absolutely alarm.

Magnus pushed himself to his knees. “Taako topped you!”

“Magnus, you’re getting kinda loud, I don’t think other people need to know this.”

“Taako topped you!” Magnus laughed and stood on the bed, hands planted firmly on his hips, dick flying free. “Taako,” he said, and held back a giggle, “actually topped you!?”

“You know, this is bringing the whole experience down to zero point seven Taakos,” Barry said, sourly. 

* * *

> **5\. Cycle 71**

Lup had never been an option to Lucretia.

Not because she didn’t want to, but because she saw the way the crew fucked around, and she could tell most of it was casual. That was fine, she had nothing against that. It was a good way to look after the body’s needs, with no strings attached.

But Lucretia, well. She wouldn’t be able to kiss Lup and then carry on like they were just friends. She’d want more. 

There was no rule against fraternisation in the IPRE, but Lucretia understood that a mission like this was delicate. There was a balance in their little group, and while fucking around probably wasn’t enough to disturb it, a serious infatuation could be.

There was nothing to it, but to keep it to herself. They didn’t need extra stressors, not with all the planes at stake.

Maybe, though, that was the wrong way to think about it.

It was pretty late by the time the gang got back from the banquet. Exactly half of them were embarrassingly drunk, that half being Magnus, Merle and half of Davenport, who was oscillating between weepily hanging on Merle’s shoulders and smugly congratulating everyone on the fine bit of networking they all pulled off.

Lup looked fine, maybe a little tipsy but still steady on her feet. Lucretia couldn’t keep her eyes off her. More than usual, even.

“Wouldn’t have expected you to be the designated driver, as it were,” Lucretia said as she helped Lup manhandle Magnus from the catamaran that had been their ride, onto the Starblaster.

“Don’t be silly, I wouldn’t know how to drive a boat. Maggie, no-” she grunted, unable to avoid Magnus’ foot to her shin as he slipped.

“Oh nooo,” Magnus went, “oh no, Lup! Oh, I’m sorry, gosh, I’m sssso. Sorry.” He pulled a face, looked like he was about to cry.

Lucretia pushed him bodily onto the deck. “Let me rephrase,” she said, “I expected Barry to return sober, but not you. Remarkable self-restraint.”

Lup laughed, and slung Magnus’ arm around her shoulder. “Hell no, Lucy. I had just as much to drink as these goofuses, I just hold it a lot better.”

Lucretia took Magnus’ other side and together they lugged him to his bunk. He was properly emotional at this point, going on about the time he accidentally sat on a bee and how he didn’t mean to and didn’t blame the bee for stinging him in its death throes.

“I’m imagining you drunk now,” Lucretia said, “and I’ll be honest, I don’t know what that’d look like.”

“I’d probably be all over you,” said Lup. She closed the door to Magnus’ room. “Fuck, finally. I’m not doing that again, he can sort himself out if it happens again.”

“Ah,” Lucretia said, suddenly longing for the drunken presence of Magnus between them. Lup was wearing a sari, the fabric sheer and red. Her arms were bare, her hair collapsing slowly from an updo, one little bell on a chain sinking deeper along her clavicle, threatening to dip into her cleavage.

Lup winked. “Good luck getting me drunk though, I know my limits. Hey, you should come along next time, loosen up a little.”

“I don’t really do big parties,” Lucretia waved a hand, hoping it was enough to distract from the fact that she was still stuck on Lup saying she’d be all over her.

“Suit yourself,” Lup said. She stretched, the fabric riding up to show just a sliver of stomach. “Maybe just the two of us, then? Leave these fuckos to guard the fort for a change.”

Lucretia blinked, nodded solemnly as Lup moved past her and clapped a hand on her shoulder. The hallway was empty by the time she said: “Just say when.”

"Now,” Magnus’ voice came, muffled through the closed door. “Right now, live in the moment. Momenent.”

“Go to sleep, you’re drunk,” Lucretia said, and stalked off.

The next day, she went up to Lup and said: “Just.”

“Only just, huh?” Lup said. She picked up a sequined shrug and threw it on. “We don’t live for only barely extra, go big or go home, am I right?”

Two days later, she was putting her toothbrush back and said: “When did, uh.”

“Yes?” Lup said after a second, when Lucretia didn’t continue. “Oh sorry, you wanna be in here? Just a sec.”

Lucretia nodded, hands folded to stop herself from smacking her face.

Third time, she figured. Third time’s the charm. If she couldn’t do it the third time, she’d have to start practising lines in front of a mirror, and that would be mortifying.

“Were you serious?” she asked Lup, some time later.

“About yoghurt?” said Lup. “Why, do you like yoghurt? In that case I didn’t mean it when I said no one with any taste would voluntarily put that shit in their actual mouth.”

“Again,” said Taako, elbow-deep in a sink full of dirty dishes, “I am offended.”

“Am I wrong?” Lup said, but Lucretia had already grabbed her by the hand, muttered a vague excuse and was pulling her away from the kitchen.

Not the deck, it was just past breakfast and the rest of the crew would be up there, enjoying the morning breeze and making plans. Lucretia lead them down instead, to the curving hallway at the stern, nearest the bond engine. She could hear the water lapping at the hull. The ship itself didn’t rock, seeing as they had landed on a shallow sandbank, but the water came up to the portholes at high tide. 

“Not the yoghurt,” Lucretia said, before Lup could get a word in, before she could second guess and fail to get the words out again. “Though I enjoy a fruit and yoghurt bowl every now and then, but that’s beside the point. You said you wanted to go somewhere, with the two of us.”

“Lucy, that was like, a week ago,” Lup said. Lucretia was still holding her.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I,” Lucretia paused. “Didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Lup cocked her head and if Lucretia didn’t know better, she would swear she looked nervous. “Sure, I was serious. Do you wanna go somewhere? I found some cool ruins the other day, you could draw them. I know you like that, or at least, I’ve seen you drawing things, you absolute nerd.”

Before she could panic, before she could back away and reconsider all the reasons she shouldn’t do this, Lucretia took a step closer and tightened her grip on Lup’s wrist. She was close enough to see yesterday’s glitter in her eyebrows, to catch the faint scent of her shampoo. 

Maybe she was reading this all wrong, and maybe Lup never meant it the way she did. She’d have to live with that, and it would kill her to know she’d driven a wedge between herself and Lup. It would also kill her to go another cycle and not know, for sure, that Lup **hadn’t **meant it this way.

So she leaned in and kissed Lup, pressing her against the wall. Lup’s free hand found hers, fingers tangling. What had started as a desperate gambit mellowed into something softer when she pulled away, only to be tugged back ever so gently, and then Lup’s tongue was on her lips. 

“Well, shit,” Lup said. Somehow they’d gone from holding hands to Lucretia holding both of Lup’s wrists and Lup looked like she had no complaints. “What took you so long? I’ve been flirting with you since, like, cycle thirty.”

“Can I convince you this was a carefully set up plan,” Lucretia said, dead-pan.

“Absolutely not.”

Lucretia scraped her throat. “The alternative is that I’m incredibly dense.” 

“I’ll be sure to be more explicit, then,” Lup said and cocked her head. When Lucretia just looked at her, she rolled her eyes. “Kiss me again.”

* * *

> **Bonus**

“Wait, where are Lup and Lucretia?” said Davenport. He tapped his binoculars on the table they’d set up on deck. He’d already brought out the map and everything. Little wooden figurines, courtesy of Magnus, were laid out on one side. They didn’t look anything like the people they were supposed to represent, so Davenport had labeled them with name tags.

Merle leaned in and stage-whispered: “Do you think they’re canoodling?”

Davenport rolled his eyes. “Kids these days,” he said, and checked whether Magnus was out of earshot. Barry had already wandered off. “Always sleeping around. Irresponsible behavior, et cetera.”

Merle nodded solemnly. “Unbelievable, the lot of them.”

Davenport held his gaze for a moment, putting on his most judgmental glare. Then he cracked up, and as he did Merle slapped his arm, wheezing with laughter. They hung against one another, trying desperately not to look directly at each other because every time they did they burst out in a new fit of giggles.

“Hey, if we’re not having a meeting, I’m going to have a swim,” Magnus called out from the other side of the deck. “Also I don’t want to know what’s so funny, it’s probably gross.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Merle yelled back and turned to Davenport. “Hey, we still on for tonight?”

“Counting on it,” Davenport said, and winked.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, thank you for playing in this space with me. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me. Special thanks to [justsomerain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomerain/pseuds/justsomerain) for brainstorming help and beta reading.  
Don't hesitate to leave me a comment, especially if you want me to write a Lupcretia sequel. ❤


End file.
